Speed Breaker - From which angle do I look like.....?

Things that you stumble upon while browsing...

Often the surprise that runs across your screen keeps you hooked in a good way. The rest can even give you a nightmare.

Thankfully, the one which I encountered was a treat. It's a neat site called myheritage.com. No culture-tourism boredom this is. They must rename the site with immediate effect. It has some interesting imaging tools for morphing, celebrity resemblance comparison and the like. Just for the fun of it, I tried the tool which compares your uploaded image with the images in the site's celebrity image database. The system gives you the list of celebrities who you have a resemblance to. In went an old image from college days and after a couple of seconds the results were out, that too with the percentage of similarity. Take a look.

Jawaharlal Nehru – 72%
Rajiv Gandhi – 71%
Matthew Mc Conaughey – 67%
Ayrton Senna – 56%
M. Night Shyamalan – 56%

Honestly, I don't think I look like any of them in this pic. About the close contenders one and two, it's quite ironic to add that I was in a long Kurta when this pic was taken. Both Nehru and Rajiv chose it as a preferred attire. Number three - I'm neither a fan nor a follower. Number four - not a fan, but have heard a lot about his skills behind the steering wheel of an F1 car till the moment he died. Number five - was a fan, not anymore and please don't tell me that I look like him.

P.S - I uploaded another pic of mine and the list generated had no resemblance to the previous one. So don't fly too high if your result says you can be a Brad Pitt double or an Angelina Jolie twin.

Wish someone got these garbage out of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

"Watch it lady, the glaze is blinding...my eyes, my eyes!!! I can't see a thing"

Old footage – Come on Michael, you get millions as budget and you can’t shoot some new scenes instead of stuffing in footage which we have already seen in your previous flicks? We have seen that same aerial shot of the US Navy fleet in Pearl Harbour, Armageddon, and Transformers. Adding a dozen CGI protoforms to the visual doesn’t make it any different. Call Pentagon. They’ll be glad to help you out. After all, you are the unofficial advocate of the US military. We know that you have their number on speed dial. Use it.

This isn’t over yet. What about the VFX shots carried over from the first movie? The Autobot arrival visuals in TF1 stepped in to show the arrival of Decepticons in TF2. The shot of the Predator UAV from the first movie made its way too. Where the hell is all that money going? $200 million is no small sum.

Perverted Wheelie – The R/C truck lookalike starts off as a perverted Decepticon and ends up as a “licensed to be a pervert” Autobot. He is too much obsessed with Megan Fox and as the movie progresses she seems to like him too. That includes the way he holds on to her legs with his spoilt mind busy at work. I opted for a more decent way of putting across what he actually did. If the impact of that statement on the reader isn’t convincing, then I’d say, watch the movie and you’ll comprehend with utmost clarity.

Skids’ gold teeth – I haven’t got complaints of racism and stereotyping when it comes to Skids and Mudflap. So what if they speak like the hip-hop crowd? It isn’t that bad. But the gold teeth took things a bit too far.

Shia Labeouf’s constant screaming – Once you get out of the theatre, you’ll remember a few lines from the movie. But more than any of them, the ones that you will remember with vivid imagery will be Labeouf screaming out “Optimus” and “BumbleBee”. It sounds cool once or twice. But we can’t take it all along. All right, he needs the Autobots when the bad company turns up in full force and with the frequency with which explosions happen around him, he has to scream. But it gets on our nerves after a while.

Megan Fox running in slow motion – This is not a TV series on lifeguards with perfect bodies. This is not Bay Watch and that means there is no urgent need of a hottie running in slow motion and that too in the middle of a war. By the way, the ladies will be very keen to know which brand of lip stick Megan Fox used while filming. No matter what she does, it still shines like wet paint. If a full blown battle in the middle of a desert can’t rob the lip gloss of its shine, the fairer sex may be very much interested in buying it even if it costs a king’s ransom.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - "Yeaaaah" and "Wow" Moments

Sideswipe slicing Sideways in half in a clean sweep as if the latter is made of butter. The skater somersaults over Sideways who is in his alternate mode (an Audi R8) and flings his sword right into the front of the Decepticon. As he comes down he reconnects the sword back to his arm while he is airborne. Tasty part, the baddie is still on the run and the sword is still thrust deep into his hood. A bit of physics here. Since Sideways is fleeing in the opposite direction of Sideswipe, the forward motion of the car makes the whole process of cutting it in half much more easier for the Autobot. All that he had to do was to stay still with a firm grip on the sword. (Thank you Einstein) Don't miss Swipe's bragging, "Damn, I'm good". Yes, you are Swipe. Yes you are. More of similar antics in TF3, please.

Optimus Prime’s intro. He is a sight to behold, be it in robot mode or truck mode. Prime uses his privileges as the Autobot leader to good use. For the Shanghai battle, he is airdropped from a C-17 military transport aircraft. As the jet circles the night skies of Shanghai, the cargo door opens up giving us the first glimpse of Prime in his truck form. He drives out into sheer nothingness and freefalls into the urban warzone miles below. The Autobot leader transforms mid-air into his robotic form, deploys the parachute to slow down the fall, cuts off the chute cables, lands and transforms back to the truck form, all in a matter of seconds. None could stop us from whistling and cheering him on.

Bumblebee’s intro scene. He goes right through the garage door, transforms and pulverizes a section of Sam’s home while killing the furious robots in the kitchen. What followed was twice as much fun as Bee gets scolded for his annihilative pest control techniques. The way he tries to reason with Sam, that too without saying a word and his expression of despair of having messed it all up, were thoroughly enjoyable. No wonder everyone loves him so much.










Bumblebee’s melodramatic act when he realizes Sam is not going to take him along to college. After watching that scene, how many of you didn’t wish you had an alien robot in your garage?

Optimus and Bumblebee gate crashing Megatron’s “let’s take Sam’s brain” party. Technically it wasn’t gate crashing as Optimus landed right into the middle of it crashing through the roof while Bee chose to break in through the wall as he couldn’t find the gate.

Optimus Prime’s fight to the death. The Autobot leader took on three of his rivals with so much brute force and power that we knew it wasn’t going to end well. After being hurled away by Megatron’s energy cannon attack, he picks himself up, spits out some metal teeth and goes full throttle again. That’s precisely what his real life counterparts (read action heroes) would do. The twin sword fight to the death saw him taking off Starscream’s arm and ripping apart Grindor’s head. The final battle with the Fallen came nowhere close to this devastating brawl which culminates in Optimus’ death. Theme hunters, here’s your line, “If I’m destroyed, so shall you be.” Did I just steal KARR’s line from Knight Rider? Yes, I did with all the legality, as it was the same voice actor who lent his vocal cords to Optimus and KARR – Peter Cullen.

Bumblebee drawing out the spine and tail of hyper-aggressive Ravage in one clean pull. Must I say, he does so in slow motion? Reminded me of a gluttonous kid who wipes the ice candy stick clean. It doesn’t end there as Bee uses the spine-tail combo as a whip for sometime lashing it out at an impending Decepticon.

The formation of Devastator. We didn’t know which vehicle was forming which part of the giant Decepticon. None of us really cared as we were more dumbstruck by what was happening onscreen. The near 30 second assembling time was sheer breath taking.

BumbleBee again, kneeling down hopelessly and noticeably heartbroken as the paramedics pronounce Sam dead. This may not necessarily qualify as one which evokes excitement or generates applause. But the scene was one of the few real gems in this explosion-laden quarry. P.S. I love the quarry!

Optimus Prime encore, taking off to the skies powered by Jetfire’s parts. The war cry in the first movie was “Autobots, roll out”. In TF2 as he lifts off, Optimus gives us the new battle cry, “Let’s roll” and the crowd erupts.

Four times the charm, Optimus emerging from behind the Sphinx, shaking off the jet engines and striking an Arnold inspired pose, all in slow motion.

The weaponry that’s on show during the 30 minute climax. I don’t even know the names of all those military gear which rallied past during that half an hour of combat. Fighter jets, bombers, hovercrafts, airborne gunships, UAVs, aircraft carriers, frigates, missile launchers, tanks and the inevitable Humvees – the list is endless and I wouldn’t dare to speak about the rest of Uncle Sam’s garage machinery in the movie. This movie could double up as a recruitment drive video for the US Armed Forces. Bay makes it all look so damn cool. The big question is, what more will be on display in TF3?

Dus bahane karke le gaye dil...10 good excuses to adore Optimus

Here they are. Those 10 lines which sound cool when spoken by Optimus Prime. Dialogue courtesy : The Late Show with David Letterman

10. Jergens lotion leaves my hands silky smooth.
9. Do you have these khakis in a size 114?
8. My perfect night involves a pint of Haagen-Dazs and season three of “Sex and the City.”
7. Man, do I love me some ‘taters.
6. It was so hot in Central Park today, I saw a squirrel rubbing sunblock on his nuts.
5. You seemed a little pitchy, dawg.
4. Brody Jenner has added you as a friend on Facebook.
3. Live from New York…It’s Saturday Night.
2. My parents wanted me to be a rabbi.
1. All the slammin’ shorties in the house say “yeah.”

I'd love to have line number 4 as an added feature on my social networking website account. Number 10 and 4 are personal favourites and number 1 is delivered by Optimus with all his charisma.

Ryan gets the power ring

This was brewing for quite some time. At first it was the speculation of a spin-off series on Wade Wilson/Deadpool from X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Then the Green Lantern project gained momentum and now Hollywood's latest heartthorb and charmer, Ryan Reynolds has landed himself the role of the Green Lantern. He got the power ring, beating the likes of Jared Leto, Bradley Cooper and Justin Timberlake.

For Ryan, it's a quantum leap from the role of a sidekick to a mainstream superhero. Ryan isn't new to the superhero genre. Prior to his role as the wisecracking mercenary in the Wolverine actioner, he had worked with Wesley Snipes in the vampire slayer filck, Blade: Trinity. He was also associated with the Flash movie project which got shelved later.

The DC comics adaptation will have Martin Campbell as the director. Campbell has a line of specatacular action movies to his credit. The Mask of Zorro, Golden Eye and Casino Royale being some of them. Each of his movie has either launched or relaunched an actor to superstardom. If the Lantern movie gets its share of followers, then definitely Ryan will be coming across the workload of a Hollywood moviestar and that's what every actor in Hollywood aspires for.

Speed breaker - Taj Mahal wannabe

As promised, here's the pic of the mosque at Karunagapally, Kerala which owes its design to Shahjahan's Taj Mahal. I was so much in a hurry that I couldn't get the name or details of this mosque. That's right on top of the must-do list next time I take a trip via that route.

Post TF2, non-critical advice to Michael Bay

"Are you listening or should we borrow your megaphone to make you listen?"

Watched TF2. Totally awesome. The bots, the battles, the military hardware, the cars, the detailed CGI, the package was stunning and as you promised before filming, TF2 was Bay'os. But I guess, success has gone into your head. An invasion in there as well, Mr. Bay? Brace yourself for some useful unapologetic comments. If it makes any difference, I'm a follower of Bay'os. Here it goes.

Please don’t take us for granted. Just because we like the characters and the action, you can’t ignore the fact that you are making a movie and not a trailer. Bloopers account to an all time record of 50+ in Revenge of the Fallen. Some of them can be disregarded as insignificant. But even if we forget the insignificant ones, we just can’t forgive the continuity errors. We do like your “love me or hate me, I just don’t care” attitude. At a time when everyone’s getting all stressed up about making action movies darker and grimmer, it’s good to have someone like you who insists on making it more fun. No one can make pyrotechnics look good on screen like you and no one can replicate the visual style of your frames.

Don’t listen to your critics. But do listen to those who swear by you and put down their money for your movies. They happen to be the only line of defense which comes in between your career and its doom. My word of advice will be, take a break from Transformers for a while. Work on a couple of projects with Bruckheimer and then come back. Meanwhile someone can try their luck with Optimus and company. If you are too possessive about the franchise, then stay but make use of the executive producer’s directorial prowess. Spielberg has a profound knowledge of the sci-fi/action genre and will always have some ideas on how to make the audience pay attention, without blowing stuff up non-stop.